Let’s talk about what happened last weekend. This was on Good Friday night too. I had to take a minute to regroup mentally after this because some folks play for a reaction from you. When they do not get the reaction, they start questioning their own intentions from the jump.
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Two weeks ago, I confirmed a sitter for a Friday evening. She already met my kids and had done a baby-sitting job for me a week before. I was thinking cool; she may be able to come through for me this spring and summer.
Hell, was I wrong.
She said she was available.
I assumed she was looking forward to doing the job for a few hours and was excited.
I locked her in for the date. As a mom, especially a single mom working from 9
to 5 I like to plan things out in advance. This helps me breathe easier.
I do not get to just “go with the flow.” Every outing, every pop out experience
for me, every moment to myself is carefully arranged around my two kids and
their needs.
Whew, so now just imagine how pissed I was when she texted me just ONE HOUR before she was supposed to show up. I was looking at the two text messages like, “I beg your pardon!”
She was
lying down and gave a fabricated excuse for why she couldn’t make it. Plus, not
only did she cancel last minute, but she also had the audacity to suggest I
should send her an Uber or drop my kids off to her at some random place they’ve
never been. Be for real, my girl.
I could not understand… how are you
offering a service, agreeing to it ahead of time, and then trying to flip the
responsibility back on me when it's time to deliver?
So, of course I reached out and told
my people what went down. I had the money. The outfit and my kids ready for a
chill night inside. So anyway, an hour later. Yes, an hour later. I did not
block her after the first 2 texts about her breaks on her car she was struggling
to put on after 6pm. She texts me asking, “So did you cancel your plans?”
…
Ma’am, are you playing on my phone
on purpose? My last response was it’s okay and that I understand. I even said
to have a great Easter weekend with the little peep bussing out the egg for a
little emoji flare.
I felt played. I felt like it wasn’t just about flaking on the job; it was intentional. She had sent me a friend request on Facebook two weeks prior and was clearly watching my page. I think she built up a little silent resentment, some imaginary hate, and backed out as a petty move.
She liked and engaging with some of my posts so I don’t understand what the true issue was because I did her nothing but accept a friend request, she sent me. People will smile in your face and still look for an opportunity to inconvenience you just because they can. That part stung a little bit. Just a little.
But here’s the thing I’m proud of:
I kept my head high.
Did she inconvenience me? Yes. Did I have to cancel something I’d been looking forward to for weeks?
Yes. However, I didn’t let it unravel me. I did not crash out. I did not question her or beg her to come through.
I let her go with her nonsense and kept it pushing with the block button on Facebook. Plus, I blocked her phone number. You will never get the chance to play in my face twice. I thought that since she was a mom that she would understand my position, but it's cool!
I look at it like this, I will
find better people. I do deserve reliable support. I won’t let
folks who are confused about their own worth project that confusion onto me.
For anyone,
especially moms, seeking personal space with constant demands—here's your
reminder:
- You are allowed to be disappointed.
- You are allowed to feel betrayed. Do not carry that
betrayal into your next decision.
- And you are allowed to set firmer boundaries and
say “NEVER AGAIN” without guilt.
Sometimes people cancel not because
they can’t, but because they won’t. There will be people that will look for ways to knock you down a notch.
They plot how to dim your light just a little. But God sees all that. And He’s
still gonna make sure you’re taken care of.
So, let’s toast to never allow
someone else to dull your joy.
Here’s to better sitters. Better
plans. Better support. Better peace.
And here’s to keeping your head
high—even when people try you on purpose for a reaction.
Lesson learned.
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