Lover Girl in Her 30s: Dating Without Expectations, Just Heart First

 I am not hiding my face behind my face when I say this: “I’m a lover girl in her 30s.”

I used to feel like I had to tone that part of me down. I felt that being soft, romantic, or openly desiring love made me seem naïve after all the heartbreak I have encountered. Society often tells us to be cautious, guarded and remain with a plan while strategizing. 

pexels

I am not saying that any of these things are wrong to do, because I am a girl that has been doing all three. I understand that when you have been through heartbreak, disappointment, or the exhausting trauma responses of modern dating you can be on the fence. For many women we now see that with social media love must come with rules, checklists, and ultimatums.

But let me tell you something: I’m not afraid to try dating someone without expectations anymore.

Carelessness is not what I am displaying with this move. I am choosing to lead with curiosity instead of control. It’s about allowing myself to experience feelings again without needing to predict the ending. Being a lover girl in your 30s means you have felt enough to know what you do not want any more and to be brave enough to explore what might be.

Yes, there will be risks that will come with the journey.

There is the risk of giving too much. The risk of being let down. The risk of you feeling the urge to self-sabotage. But you know what else is a risk?

Falling in love.

Real love. The kind that surprises you with affection, quality communication, and patience. The kind that doesn’t always fit your list but makes the dedication to add you into their day. The kind that compliments your beauty, strengths, and efforts towards a better you!

Dating without expectations doesn’t mean you abandon your standards. It means you allow space for magic. You let a connection unfold instead of needing it to immediately be something.

In my 20s, I was married. I had no idea that the dating world was so chaotic until I started dating post-divorce. I was so focused on what I wanted it to be and had a lot of toxic fun.

Now? What about today? I enjoy the way someone makes me laugh beyond surface level conversations. I appreciate the way a conversation lingers. I let someone show me who they are. I let their actions speak as much as their words do. I show up as me.

That is my feminine energy showcasing my soft, radiant, receptive side.

Not everyone deserves access to your heart. However, your heart still deserves to experience love. Now, if you’re in your 30s (or beyond), and you are wondering if you should give someone a chance without expecting the whole future on the first date. Love is a risk. Get out of your comfort zone and see who may be out here for you.

And if the risk leads you to love, that is nobody’s business but yours & theirs.

Let’s remain soft, even after we’ve been hardened by pain.

Enjoy being a lover girl with healed boundaries and an open heart.

Let’s toast to dating like we’ve never been broken, but knowing if we are again, we will bounce back with lessons learned and no time loss on the journey.