Why This Christmas Feels Like My Comeback Season

As the year winds down and the reflection of Christmas lights bounces from the ornaments on my tree, I can’t help but reflect on how this year unfolded. It began with me feeling conflicted and depressed. I will explain a little more. I had anxiety about going into year 31.

The first year marking the adventure into my mid-thirties made my heart race. Yet somehow thankful to celebrate my 31st birthday. I was caught between gratitude and the weight of everything I had been through. Looking back, it was the start of a season of growth disguised as struggle.

One of the biggest challenges, I faced this year was trying to co-parent with my ex-husband. I’ve written before about how maintaining no contact has been key to my peace. However, this year tested that boundary. He took our kids for one week during the school year and then blocked me, leaving me furious, upset, and resentful. It felt like a blow of brutal punches to my abdomen. 

All that hurt forced me to evaluate how much energy I was pouring into a situation that only drained me. Once he brought the kids back to me, I made the decision to stop trying. No more giving him the benefit of pretending to be an active father. No more trying to come up with ways to better our communication on rotating weekends to make co-parenting work with someone who didn’t respect me or my time. That choice was liberating.

Around the same time, I also decided to step back from dating and the thought of having a serious relationship. I had spent enough time being open to finding someone who would truly see me, value me, and provide the kind of partnership I deserve. The more dating I did during my kid-free weekends the more I was left feeling robbed of my time. So, I stopped. I poured all that energy back into myself instead.

This shift was challenging as it was transformative. I began reinventing how I looked. I placed more effort into how I presented myself to the world. These days, my hair is flat-ironed, edges laid, and healthy to the touch—a reflection of the upkeep, confident woman I am. I have started doing my makeup during the week. My beat face is not for anyone else but for me. It’s a small routine that reminds me I’m worth the effort. I deserve to feel beautiful and put together no matter my day.

More than anything, I’ve embraced a new mindset: going with the flow of life. I no longer let small situations or inconveniences rob me of my joy. Whether it may be something that happened with family, a last-minute change in plans, or an unkind word from someone else, I’ve learned to take a deep breath and let it go. Life is too short to let temporary frustrations steal my peace.

Finally, here I am in December. I feel more true to myself than I have in years. This Christmas feels like my comeback season because I’m finally reclaiming my happiness. My place is cozy and full of love. My kids are thriving and happy. I’m stepping into every day with gratitude and grace. This year may have started off unsettling, but I’ve found my footing. I’m making it through the end of this month stronger, wiser, and more at peace than ever before.

So, as I sip my warm cappuccino and admire the glowing lights on my tree, I’m filled with happiness. Happiness for what the next year will bring. Happiness for continued growth, and happiness that this season of thankfulness is only the beginning of something even greater. Here’s to the comeback! Big ups to the woman I have become along the way.