Hey, there! As you read this, I am sitting at my dining room table. My hair is still in a bright pink bonnet. I am wearing my maroon-colored nightgown with pink trimming with the matching robe. I washed my face with cold water in the bathroom sink before brushing my teeth. My 3-year-old daughter asked for assistance with dumping her potty out into the toilet after she woke up after 9:00am this Sunday.
I officially am not making $60-75 purchases, on pull-ups every month for her! Play the track "Celebration Time!", Alexa! I successfully potty trained my daughter in less than two weeks in October all while working from home, my baby! My seven-year-old son asked to grab a candy cane from our Christmas tree as I made my way into the living room. He has been doing very well over this Thanksgiving break. He keeps reminding me that he's ready to go back to school too.
Overall, I feel well. I am also well rested. This semester of college was good for me as I was productive with my studies. My major is still the same, Sociology with a minor in Psychology. I have been giving myself grace this season with it all.
I have been resting and not worrying about trivial things. Since establishing better boundaries while raising my kids on my own I have become more serious about being intentional with mornings. My days have been seeming so short and dedicated to working by the time I get off its homework, cooking dinner, a brisk workout, baths, prayers and bed. I have been struggling to fit in more time for me during my nights, but that has been dedicated to my education and brief moments of self-care. Being alone at this time in my life has given me so much gratitude and appreciation for God and how far I have come on this journey.
I was homeless this time in 2021. I did not have much to my name, but faith and confidence that it would all work out in the end. I didn’t have a job from being a stay-at-home mom of 2 and also had no car. I was still bright-eyed and naïve about life. My excitement carried me into 2022 with tears of gratitude that I still can vividly relive. Hope did not grace my heart in 2021 it was faith. I sat in my bed just a few nights ago and cried while listening to the song, “This Christmas” the Chris Brown rendition. 😉
I laughed because I was still on my cycle, but it was tears of joy. For real for real! 🤣I was singing that song in a hotel while my kids were resting in bed. I looked over at them while singing the song that was playing from my laptop speakers lowly admiring their innocence. Their innocence was what I was protecting. I did not want them to know at that time how much I was hurting and mentally suffering.
As much as I cried during the month of December of 2021, I knew it would all work out. It had to. I did not know when, but I knew that if I did not tap out of life that the reward would be worth it. I was no newcomer to struggling. I struggled all my life and even throughout the eight years of my marriage. I sought God. I sought mental health counseling. I placed my pride on the side and accepted help to get through some of the most humbling times in my life.
The times that had me against myself when I looked in the mirror. I saw a side of myself after my divorce that brought upon goosebumps and night sweats. She was unlike the woman I thought I was going to become. She was abrasive with her approach to love and detached. This woman took no bull crap and said what she meant when she said it. She spoke with pose and confidence. She was a protector of her kids and that was even towards their own blood.
Maybe it was the rage that etched through her thoughts when she journaled her days. Maybe it was the burned letters she penned that would never be read, only kissed by the wind. I am proud to say that in 2024 I took time to nurture the woman that I am now. I did not allow the rage to win. I did not allow others to conquer my happiness. I did not allow others to conquer my time. As we approach Christmas of 2024 in these next 24 days I will be at peace. This Christmas the gifts that I want are truly priceless. May your month be filled with peace and happiness.
Yours Truly,
Linda B Patrick 💙
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