DMX said, “Let a dog roam, and he’ll find his way home. They always come back! Who is they? A man from your past popping up like he never left? Is he two steppin’ while, and sliding into your DMs, acting like he just wanted to say hey?
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If you've been there, you already know they often aren’t coming for genuine, heartfelt reasons. They’re “spinning the block,” checking if they can still access you for their gain—whether for sex, your time, energy, or worse, to satisfy their ego or revenge.
Over the years, I've understood that when these "spin the block" men circle back, it’s rarely because they genuinely want to make things right. More often than not, they've got an ulterior motive. They may have someone else already, might be trying to boost their ego, or maybe even want to get even with you after how things had dissolved. Entertaining their return isn’t entertainment. Here’s why ignoring these attempts is the best move—and how to keep your peace.
1. Understand Their Real Motivation
Let’s get into it. These dudes aren't returning with hearts of gold or pure intentions. They're checking to see if you're still interested. It might be an ego boost for them. The fake check-ins are ways to mess with your healing journey. Or they are looking for a quick fling. They're testing the waters. However, that doesn't mean you have to jump into the shallow waters of their attempts to meet them halfway with communication. Take a step back and realize their motives might not be as pure as they seem.
2. Remember Why Things Ended
Revisit the reasons why things dissolved in the first place. Did he break your trust? Did you call it off? Did he disrespect your boundaries? Did he fail to show up in the ways that mattered? When a man who has already disappointed you comes back, it’s easy to romanticize and think he’s changed. But staying grounded in reality will remind you why walking away the first time was the right choice.
3. Detach to Protect Your Peace
When guys are trying to play you, detachment is the ultimate self-care move. Remember, your peace, energy, and time are priceless, girl! You don't owe anyone access to your heart, mind, or body because they come knocking. Don't let them pull you into their drama. Resist the temptation to entertain them out of boredom, loneliness, or habit. Your peace should be your top priority—non-negotiable.
4. Recognize the Cycle of Control
So, let's talk about this thing where a guy comes back into your life after being MIA for a while. It's like he's testing the waters to see if he can still control your emotions. He wants to see if he can mess with your progress. He could be looking to undermine your next move and keep you waiting for his. But here's the thing, you don't have to play that game. When you say no to his attempts to come back, you're taking charge of your story. Plus, you are telling him that he doesn't have any power over you. So, don't let him disrupt your peace and happiness. You got this!
5. Prioritize Yourself and Your Growth
When you entertain these “revolving door” men, you’re placing their desires above your own. Think about the energy, time, and emotions you’ve invested in yourself since you walked away. Think about how every day of growth has brought you closer to the best version of yourself. Don’t allow his return to divert your focus or unravel the progress you’ve made.
6. Set Boundaries and Keep Them
Ignoring a man who’s trying to spin the block is a form of boundary-setting. Remember, you don’t owe him an explanation or a response. Silence speaks volumes. It can be a little challenging to not feel compelled to explain why you’ve chosen to ignore him or why you’re no longer interested.
You can respond back and let him know you aren’t interested. There is no harm in that. Stick to your boundaries and stay firm. If blocking is necessary, don’t hesitate. Protecting your peace is worth a few blocked numbers and even profiles on social media.
7. Visualize Your Future without Them
Think about your ideal future and the type of people you want to have around you. If your ex doesn't fit into that picture, it's time to let them go. Imagine the life you're creating for yourself. A life filled with respect, love, and joy. Holding on to an ex who missed their chance can mess with your vision. Don’t let an ex keep you from finding someone who truly deserves you.
8. Enjoy the Power of “No”
Saying no can be empowering, especially if someone used to take you for granted. You have the power to reject things and people that don't bring value to your life. Your time, energy, and attention are precious. When you say no, you're showing yourself and even others that you respect yourself. It's like drawing a line and saying, "Hey, I'm not letting anyone come in and disrupt my peace." Plus, it sends a message that you're not someone to be played with.
My Final Thoughts
When a man tries to spin the block, remember: it’s not a grand gesture of love or growth. It could be a test to see if they still have access. Protect your peace, remain detached, and keep your standards high. A good life is lived on your own terms—don’t let anyone from your past distract you from building it.
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