Hey, y’all! It's almost the end of the year. The school has now started here in Southeast, Louisiana. I've been thinking a lot about my struggles with co-parenting with my ex-husband. Or should I say the lack of co-parenting? This year has been particularly tough. He's been blowing off our court-ordered weekends like they're nothing.
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Chile, he's not cooperating at all. Which has been typical since I have gained more independence for myself and my kids. It has made me upset when I see how sad it makes my kids. They just don't understand why their dad doesn't love them enough to spend time with them. It is easy to get caught up in the disappointment and frustration.
However, I've decided this situation will not bring me down. I'm not going to let his immature and selfish actions affect my mental health, my finances, or my overall well-being.
In the past, when my ex-husband was not around and dodging court-appointed weekends to spend with our kids, I used to think it was all my fault.
I was tripping thinking I was doing something wrong.
I foolishly thought that was possibly why we couldn't co-parent together in a chill way. But now I get it: his actions (or lack thereof) are his problem, not mine. It's not my job to deal with his decision to be a deadbeat dad or his unreliability. Those are his choices. His choices do not dictate how I live my life or how happy my kids are.
Taking care of my mental health is super important to me. I’m not letting his mess-ups get in the way of my progress. I’ve worked hard to create a life that makes me happy, and peaceful, and gives me purpose.
Wearing my favorite dresses while doing errands or cleaning the apartment is not just about taking care of myself; it’s a reminder that I’m living my life the way I want to. For the rest of the year, I will keep doing things that make me happy and fulfilled. I will not be focusing on what he’s not doing.
Being a single parent can put a dent in your pocketbook. However, I'm not letting that get to me. I've set up my life so I can take care of my kids without depending on their dad's inconsistent support. When it comes to my career and money, I make choices with the future in mind. I want my kids to grow up in a stable, loving home, no matter what he does or doesn't do.
So, this year, especially this quarter, I'm all about chasing the life I truly want, and I'm not letting anyone stop me. My goals, dreams, and aspirations aren't on hold because someone else can't handle their responsibilities.
I am moving forward. I am creating the life I want for my kids. A life where they see their mom as a strong, resilient, and capable woman. A woman who can overcome any obstacle, especially those caused by someone else's emotional immaturity.
In the end, the one who gets the short end of the stick from his absence is not me, it's him. He's missing out on all the awesome moments with his kids - the laughs, the milestones, and the everyday stuff that makes being a parent special.
His choices are robbing him of all these experiences.
While it might make me sad for my kids, his poor choice will not stop us from moving forward and being happy.
As we cruise through this third quarter of the year, confident and clear-headed. My kids and I aren't letting his absence get us down. We're all about resilience, love, and living life to the fullest.
Just because he doesn't want to co-parent doesn't mean I'm not a good mom or my self-worth is any less. His issues are his own. His issues will not alter with the great life I'm building for my family.
This quarter, and every quarter from now on, is all about living with passion, and happiness, and focusing on what matters: raising my kids in a loving, stable environment and making my dreams a reality. Let's go!
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