What would it be if you had to leap of faith this year? How would you execute your plan of action? Do you believe it is attainable? These are questions that I asked myself when I was starting to script my journey to independence as a divorced single parent.
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It has been quite the journey to sustain the vision and lifestyle. I have fought hard to make my road to independence an abundant one. Here are five things that I realized starting this journey in 2023.
1. You Are Stronger Than You Ever Imagined
Moving to a new city alone feels like stepping into the great unknown. Imagine moving to a new town with no car, no family, and mustard seed faith. I realized that strength isn't just about muscle. Strength is about resilience, adaptability, and grit.
Each day came with a new challenge, from navigating unfamiliar streets, tackling unexpected school runs, and picking up my son while still working. Every small victory, like assembling a piece of step-by-step furniture alone or finding the nearest grocery store, became a testament to my newfound independence. I learned that my strength lies not in my ability to endure but in my willingness to embrace the uncertainty of my new life and thrive.
2. Kids Are Remarkably Adaptable
Moving to a new place won't just affect you, but your kids too. They're always watching and learning, so it's important to keep that in mind. Kids will pay attention to every detail in their environment and learn to adapt faster than you’d believe.
My kids were all over our new place like white on rice. They didn't even bat an eye at all the chaos. They made friends at the local parks, found joy in exploring new places, and taught me a valuable lesson: change can be exciting when viewed through the right lens. Their resilience and enthusiasm became refreshing to experience, reminding me to approach our new life with curiosity and optimism.
3. The Power of a Fresh Start
Starting over in a new city is like having a blank canvas. No one knows your past. Everyone is minding their own business. You’re free to redefine yourself. Plus, no one is invested in how you are surviving and or living alone with whoever is under your roof.
This fresh start allowed me to shed old identities and roles that no longer served me. I embraced new hobbies. I went to new places when I could to eat, and even experimented with my style. This journey of self-discovery was exhilarating and empowering, proving that sometimes, the best way to find yourself is to lose the old you completely.
4. Feeling Alone But It’s Peaceful
When you're far from your loved ones, it can make you feel like you're all alone in the world. But on the flip side, it also forces you to face yourself in ways you never have before. Those quiet moments, after the kids are all tucked in bed after a warm bath, are the perfect time for some deep thinking.
I started journaling, meditating, and truly getting to know myself. This solitude, rather than being a burden, became a powerful tool for personal growth. It taught me to be comfortable in my own company and to find strength in solitude.
5. Find Your People & Let Them Come To You
Moving to a new city is awesome because you get to meet a lot of new people and make new friends. I met other single parents and joined a church in my community, and I quickly learned more about the area that I live in. It's cool to realize that family isn't just about blood; it's about the people who show up for you, support you, and are always there for you, through good times and bad.
Final Thoughts
Living alone with my two kids after getting a divorce and moving to a new city has been a roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs. It's been a time of finding myself again, figuring out how to be strong, and growing in ways I never thought possible.
If you're in the same boat, here's the thing: you're tougher than you think. Your kids will amaze you with how well they can handle change. There's a whole new world of possibilities out there waiting for you.
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