This past weekend, my ex-husband did not come to pick up our kids on his court-appointed weekend. It was a no-call, no-show scenario. I just shook my head at the thought of him thinking he was hurting me. As we all know, yesterday was Father's Day, which can be quite emotional for many, especially children. However, I decided not to tell my kids it was Father's Day.
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Here's how the weekend unfolded and why I chose to focus on our peace rather than the absence.
Saturday: Routine and Comfort
Despite the expected uncertainty, I decided to maintain our routine. On Saturday, I took my son to his barber for a haircut. It's a small but significant ritual that gives him a sense of normalcy and pride. Afterward, we enjoyed a treat at our favorite local ice cream shop. These moments of joy are crucial for my kids, providing them with a sense of stability and happiness.
Home-Cooked Love
Back home, I cooked dinner as usual. The act of preparing a meal and sitting down to eat together is something I enjoy. It is a time to eat and be present with each other. Cooking for my kids is one of the ways I show them love and care. I love making sure they know they are cherished and valued.
Protecting Their Peace
I was determined to keep the weekend peaceful. I didn't block my ex-husband, nor did I reach out to him. I let things be. About a year ago, his absence would have upset me. My entire day would have been wasted from unfulfilled plans created in advance of him picking up our kids but now, I see it differently. His actions are no longer a reflection of my worth or my parenting. Instead, they are part of a broader pattern I no longer allow to disturb our peace.
A Shift in Perspective
There was a time when his no-shows would have consumed my energy and attention. I would have been upset, anxious, and disappointed. But now, I've realized that giving him my attention and energy is exactly what he wants. It's something I refuse to do anymore.
Instead, I channel my energy into creating a loving and stable environment for myself and my children. We all slept well. I took a hot bath while snacking on frozen grapes and sipping on iced Sprite in my Stanley. My Kindle kept me in great company.
Moving Forward
This weekend was a reminder of how far I've come. I handled the situation gracefully, focusing on my children and our well-being. They didn't miss out on joy or love. We made sure to fill our days with both. My ex-husband's absence, though now expected monthly, did not overshadow the love and care I provide for my kids every single day.
Conclusion
Navigating co-parenting with an unreliable man is challenging, but it's essential to prioritize the well-being of your children and yourself. I believe by maintaining routines, protecting their peace, and shifting your perspective, you can create a stable and loving environment despite the ups and downs. This weekend, I chose peace over conflict. Love over disappointment. Stability over chaos. All of that, to me, is a victory worth celebrating. He not stopping no show over here!
This train will keep on rolling whether he wants to be an active father or not!
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