I
recently had to let a friendship go gracefully. We both talked it out
and I decided to let my thoughts and feelings known. I ended the
friendship because I realize that I was the issue! The advice that she
once received from me did more bad than good. I was causing so much
confusion within her relationship with her boyfriend that I wasn't even
aware of until she told me.
She told me that her boyfriend did not want
her to confide in me any of their relationship issues or her personal
life. Behind closed doors, I could only imagine how many heifers and
vulgar names I was possibly being called by him from just voicing my
option to his girlfriend. Of course, options are just like ass holes; we
all have one.
Chile,
after my friend told me about the arguments and the complaining that
was happening I immediately felt some type of way. Like here am I giving
sound advice from a good place a someone's relationship is going down
the drain because of it. So, I had to step away from this situation and
the friendship in realize that everybody cannot handle the truth. I also
had to remember that the unfiltered truth will hurt before it teaches.
Being
a friend that I am I wanted to see my friend happy! Since her man does
not want her to be friends with a married woman like myself, I have no
choice but to do their relationship a favor by letting our friendship go
gracefully. I am not any relationship expert or counselor. I just give
great advice with love. I gave great advice that she loved too.
I just
no longer could not stand to hear her tell me that her ole’ man was
acting all funny with her because she confided in me. I no longer wanted
to hear about how much he basically dislikes her talking to me about
anything. I did not want to even feel sorry for being ‘a loyal friend
with a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on.’
I
want my friend’s relationship to blossom with her dude. I want for her
motherhood skills to have so much value to her stepdaughter. She
deserves to be happy and in a thriving relationship that can grow into a
marriage. I just see no reason for fighting for our friendship at this
time. Knowing how to pick your battles wisely is key.
The last thing, I
want for any friend of mines to do is to be torn in between our
friendship and her man/meat.
Alright, Alright!
There
are many friendships that are seasonal, and they come to teach you many
valuable lifelong lessons. I learned from our friendship that I need to
learn to be more mindful of how much time and energy I place into a
building and establishing a friendship. The time that I spent giving her
advice I could have been doing something productive. That was time and
energy that I will and can not ever get back. Ending our friendship on good terms was a great move towards the future and everyone involved mental health. When you know better you do better. Better is sho' the way to want to be too.
Here are five signs
that you need to let a friendship go gracefully,
- Your friendship is becoming emotionally draining.
- You feel as if your causing confusion within your friend’s relationship with spouse, family member, or life.
- Your constantly feeling uneasy about giving them advice.
- There’s no growth happening within the friendship.
- Your doing all the work in the friendship.
Discover your inner strength every step of the way with
Sometimes as a friend it's best to be there and not give advice especially if you find yourself giving the same advice over and over. Sometimes people just need to vent. Also, It's not healthy for any friend to go back and tell their mate what was said in a private conversation between venting friends. That's toxic from jump. Lastly, again, sometimes being a good friend is just about being there, not necessarily giving advice. 9/10 if they are coming back with the same situation, they already know the solution. Peace and blessings.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for reading and giving your honest feedback! I believe that she had to been going back telling her mate what we had discussed in private too. It made things very toxic. I appreciate your feedback. I needed it.
DeleteThese are great points. I used to feel so heartbroken when connections began to fade. I’m learning now that sometimes it’s inevitable.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes, I use to feel the same way and many times fading friendships are inevitable.
Delete